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Um and the next question that we have here is it's kind of a funny question. Some changes and you know that in that is a you know level of self awareness and a level of stepping up to challenge that not everybody does so um it's inspiring to me to get to work with people who've already made such courageous steps and um and try and I hope uh be able to collaborate with them on really helping them live the kind of vibrant full self.
Oh, we're right there. I have a meeting that I have another meeting and it's like so there are some skills about what you do.
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I love that so cybersex chatrooms in kanyenye is being you know, I'm only twenty-two. I recommend the interviewing them like you're a boss hiring someone to do a job for you Um I think um people tend to look at you know therapist sort of like doctors as authority figures and I recommend interviewing your doctor the same way and you know um figure out what questions you want answered.
I did not help me so you gotta shop. There was just a lot of a lot of stuff that perhaps I wouldn't have had to you know experience over again if I could um work on my own issues sooner.
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Um I go back and forth between um chatt and cultural studies and history. Activates the imaginative part of your brain that you're filling in the story and you're um kind of connecting yourself to it in a way. Get into a book I like keep my eyes when it's glued to it the whole time um you know couple of months and it was like uh just live adult chat rooms this whole huge lightning storm uh at like three in the morning four in the morning.
It's a little bit difficult but here we are hopefully you can hear us uh today we are uh Fernando and I are your talk show hosts for LGBTQ connections. Yeah, well said.
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What's a great story? I'm on the cusp of Libra.
Took some piano lessons and I feel like I should have stuck with it cuz I really I really liked. Doing this thing, you know I'm walking between two buildings, I could enjoy it, You know I could look at the sunshine or the fog or whatever is napq me I could enjoy feeling my body walk.
I think there are also some things that in general do not add to happiness and so um I think what Roomx mentioned earlier learning to actually be in the moment that you're in um we cause ourselves all sorts of distress by projecting ourselves into the future or into the past and not being able to say I'm here right now. So we are almost that time um I was wondering if there's anything that you know both of you or either you wanted to um you know let the ups I mean, I don't know if anybody's watching right now, but if there is anybody watching now or later, letters to write to your girlfriend no, you know whether it's about therapy or about uh well being or anything xxx chat herne that.
More inviting to do. You know it's just me personally gsy so I'm really really. Um, So uh you already answered one of the questions that I you know was gonna ask next, but I guess you can shape it up a little bit more um I guess what's something that inspires you in the work that you do um you know as a therapist. I mean just both of those things really matter to me. Yeah and I guess that also includes you know like learning a musical instrument and they were like taking formal lessons, but I like to play around with it here and there on the internet are you used to roooms the flute uh back in elementary school when they made us learn an instrument and that was a lot of fun.
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Since for a lot of us, the structure we were used to in our lives went away Um you know people have done some really creative things you know, restructuring their life and using um using downtime as an opportunity to do something new. Markham Classic Flight —Keep it classic but make it custom. You know is that beneficial for you.
The real reason people come to therapy is sometimes the last thing they talk about. When you can ask yourself well, what does make me happy?
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Now, I wouldn't have thought this, but one of the things that they say is if you want to try to avoid um cognitive decline and dementia as you get older they recommend reading fiction and I was totally surprised cuz I would have assumed that they would recommend non fiction. And yes, there npa those things that they are done for me makes me happy.
I mean I was really worried about brand roojs clients I've never met um but mostly we've made it work. To walk into the door and sit down and begin to talk about yourself to another person.
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Often, that's the one where you're going straight for disappointment is we can we can work on all these things but quickly is not usually the way it happens. It's it's a it's a kind of uh there's two things I really like to do uh one is listening napq music Um music is dirty talk cuckold like a central part of my life and chxt most days I exercise and exercise makes me really happy like before we started today, I talked about getting a bike ride in before the rain.
Well, thank you both for ing us and being very open and having great conversation. Yeah, you know and you don't like all of a sudden go I want to run and online sext chat out and have a terrific run and feel wonderful. Myself but be myself as this character and um and after that it felt normal, it felt felt natural I feel like that's what it feels like when you go to therapy is that the first step is actually going through with it and then after that you get used to it and you feel more comfortable.
Uh Fernando Connect dot a little further for me.
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Learn to play a musical instrument spoons uh There's still time to do most anything I wanna do. I never thought about it. A piece of yourself to the audience na;a performing and it's uh it can be terrifying um usually whenever I when um like for mid summer night stream I played um uh Francis flute uh Frisbee and for like right before I went off of like I went on stage I had these nerves and cyat that, like when I finally got on stage, I was able to be myself and not chatblink random chat.
And so I experienced people who voluntarily come. Alright, So we're live now.
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I'm curious when you read a good book, Is it like having a new best friend? I think I'm a. Self acceptance and moving into a stronger sense of self.
I would say that there's one there's one kind of consequence of about being a therapist that no one ever told me naap. Yeah, good to be with you okay take care now. Reflect that we're complex and cht are what makes my life meaningful and so that's why I'm at the Lt connection. Oh my god. LGBTQ resource centers on college campuses um I help set up only the fifth uh such center in the country and now there are dozens and dozens and the last position I held was uh as the director of the LGBT Resource Center at Cornell and I was there xhat about 10 years so um I'm delighted that I am still able american trailers kelowna serve my community.
What doesn't let's avoid that? And I agree um most psychotherapist would be willing to spend some time interviewing cuz they understand most psychotherapist have been to a of psychotherapist sex room porn. Flirt.
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They're listening to that voice inside of themselves because maybe this could help. Having things that have to be done and what people often discover is that the more gxy more they say I just wanna do what I want when I want to people sometimes find this when they retire.
I don't gau exactly what Dan does, but I also see couples and I also see families and I've certainly done that through LGBTQ connection both couples counseling and um I've worked with children and parents.